This came back to top of mind when I read a recent article about a group of statisticians in the US working out where the best place to wait out a zombie melt-down would be. Their, sort of unsurprising conclusion, was that the Rocky Mountains were the place to be. I couldn’t help but feel that the conclusion was basically amounted to ‘go somewhere where there are few people’ and that while that’s perfect for your normal disease, it may not be the whole answer when you’re contemplating zombies. Zombies, after all, are that stage less mindless than your average virus.
One of my sons’ favoured place is a shop around the corner that used to be a bank. The changing rooms are in what was the vault and the zombies are not getting through that vault door in a hurry. The big problem with the vault idea, though, is knowing when it’s safe to come out. Personally, I am more in favour of getting on a boat. But what if the zombies can swim? That could leave you very exposed. The advantage of a boat, though, is that you can move it to somewhere isolated and the seas aren’t likely to get jammed up in the way the roads inevitably would.
Australia is a tough place to contemplate the zombie problem. We have a lot of isolated space, that’s for sure. But once you get there, it tends to be unforgiving in terms of living off the land. That means you not only need to get to an isolated spot, but you have to take a great deal of stuff with you. Our friends who live in the Blue Mountains and have a camper-trailer are probably in the perfect position to head West and out-run the plague. Our central Sydney location means we either need to move early or we’re stuck; because Sydney roads are bad enough at the best of times – if you add in the breakdown of society I can’t see anything but gridlock.
So we’re stuck in central Sydney. In the short-term food isn’t a huge problem if we loot the supermarkets for tinned foods. Water could well be an issue but probably more in the medium than in the short-term. Safety and supplies – they become the prime concerns. And we think we’ve found the perfect place – our local Bunnings hardware store. We’re thinking to use the wood to build platforms on top of the huge display racks (zombies can’t climb) and then use all those lovely tools to defend ourselves. The store has chairs, tables, BBQs for cooking, hammocks for sleeping, really it’s like a zombie-apocalypse supply depot. I’m struggling to think of much that it doesn’t have that you’d need. It even has wheelbarrows for a run down to the supermarket for some top-up looting.
So there you have it, disaster-preparedness Geek in Sydney style.
By the way the next Sydney Zombie Walk is in October this year (and today’s image is thanks to them).